~Happy 16th Birthday Stephen~

Today our first born turns 16. WOW where did the time go? He is so happy to go get his permit. We are going to try today after school, I hear that it is not easy on a Friday afternoon at the DMV so Monday may be our better option. Before I get him from school after I work I am going to head out to get him not a cake but 4 canolies, his favorite. I know he will so eat all 4! HE WILL.....HAPPY BIRHDAY to my baby,,,,lol yes he still is and always will be my baby. They both will be....lol

Rest in Peace Capt. Rick Cashin

It was sad watching the news last night to hear of a State Trooper from the Danver station was killed on Rt 1 in Saugus. Two men came to mind and it sent chills down my spine thinking of these two men and the familes. Well my premis was correct., I am deeply hurt to say, this man was one of the two that came to mind. Ryan had him two years ago as a Lacross Ast. Coach. He had lots of passion for the kids and the sport. He treated them fairly and if you wern't so good at it he took the time to show you the way. Ryan goes to school with his son and the other sons is Stephens age. He has two older daughters also in their late 20's. He put a lot of time, effort and love into his community and it is truely a tragic loss for not only his family but the Tri-town too. Please take a moment in your hearts for him and the others he left behind, tonight at dinner we did. Rest in Peace Capt. Cashin.

many birthdays....

This weekend the Rafts celebrated Papas birthday, Stephens, Mine, Auntie DD, Auntie Vanessas, and Owens...And yes if MIL sent me the pic of the cake I would of posted it. It had all our names on it. lol We have a lot of b-days end of Jan and Feb. Then MILs is in March. I smelt the cake just to see what it smelt like. No need to taste. I did have some wonderful raw almond and dried blueberries with a few chopped spirullina bits...yup...thye looked and said what it the green stuff...Some tried it and DID NOT like...but I LIKE ...so that is all that matters...lol smelling food these days makes it fine. I smelt a Dunkachino (they are back) that Dana had at work. I recall back in 2000 when building this house (stress city) I drank many of those and packed on the weight as for Michael his stress lead to dropping many lbs. Not a fun time but with the Grace of God and our love we got through the many challenging days. Smelling food helps b/c I can get the jist of the food and I really dont need/want the food. I was told at post grad class today "whatever it takes" lol if that helps then smell away...lol So a GREAT big Happy b-day to all those mentioned. This year Stephen will be the BIG 16 on 1/30....wow has the time flown by....

We have wii

Know Fear at Big Daddys surprise party rockin on....so not like him

For a HUGH surprise....so not Michael to do something on a whim he came home last night with wii, rock band and a slip to let me know he is picking up wii fit on Sunday at the store. Stephen will be the big 16 on 1/31 and my b-day is 2/3 so he said this was for our b-days AND Ryans too. Ry was like dad my b-day is in June...LOL So for a second M looked generous...lol lol JK....Last night we were having cutes Jenny and her family over for dinner and she was going to bring her system here so we could mess around since Know Fear got addicted at Kristens Big Dadddys surprise party. He was rocking on and it is so not him. So out of his character but he did awesome and was liking it. He cracked us up with his expresions. So they jammed for hours, I shouted to lower the volume. Yup loud music no need. lol and I ask you why don;t they make a soft rock kind of magic 106.7 version for people like me who love to shower the people you love with love...lol Jalina was in a belly laugh when I would sing my so called church music. After we came up to have dessert I put the computer on my playlist and they all said it was like being trapped in an elavator. AS IF...lol How sweet it is to be loved by you boo....lol So KUDOS to my main squeeze he always ceases to amaze me. He was just so proud of his surprise something we really did not expect. Just yesterday at Traders Joes S went into game stop to look at used stuff and price it out b/c he had it in his head he was gonna buy it with his earned cash from the electrician job that pays awesome I might add. But he got his 16 b-day surprise....I will have to post pics but I do have one from last Sats party of Know Fear...lol

John S has a REALLY good point...watch and see....

http://msunderestimated.com/2009/01/21/daily-show-what-differences-between-bush-obama-video/

I love this saying

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, I used everything you gave me". Erma Bombeck

A good goal to keep in mind....

I am with me everyday...so I don't see it like others do...but I just did with these....

I look in the mirror and don't see wow that is a hugh differnce 110 lbs. I see me everyday. I get reactions from people and they are like you don;t look like you, or you look so differnt. I guess b/c I have been with me all this time..lol So seeing the side by sides I can now see what a diffenrce 110 lbs down makes. I am feeling wonderful and blessed to be well into this journey. I am happy that I can be healthy and strong and be able to fly all day long without wanting to sit. I was very active as a heavier person but hurt sometimes and needed to rest more often. I am on my way to my goal weight and maintaining it. I want to say thanks to all of those who continue to support me in this. It will be a life long struggle b/c I will always be that heavier person inside, M always made me feel beautiful regardless: but have to learn daily how to acpert that I have done something positive and I have done this to feel and look better. Help or no help...I have done this.....
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btw I have bones.I was told that the new pink shirt was also too big for me. I still strugle with the size I get b/c I don't want things to fit too snug! J took like two inches of the sirt and said see not snug...too big..I guess from now on I will have to take people with me b/c I do it like before over size to not look snug. I will learn AND..lol I can see my bones....now thats weird...It is really the little things that make a big difference.Both of those other pics was the beg of this journey, I was down 10 -15 lbs in them so imagine 10 -15 lbs more than what was there...gesh

It had to be done.....I feel like I am losin something more than lbs...

Spent more than 2 hours today with 3 piles of clothes being sorted. One for the St. Vincent box at church, one for a friends mother and one just junk that really can't go to either place. I now have like 6 items in my closet now. Well that is how it feels. I was wearing the hugh clothes and looking folish so I was told. lol I did get some really cute things from the Lands End cards I got for Christmas and a few new items on my own but I am loosing more so some are now big but not too big, still can wear them. It was weird purging some things I have had for so long. I really like some of the capris I have got over the years for Fl. trips and dressy stuff I wore on the Disney cruise or just to events in the warmer months. I tried on an outfit I LOVED and I could of fit another person in with me. That I can say is awesome that I remember wearing it to a 40th b-day party and it was tight and now it could be made into curtains. I think we are cnnected to our clothes no matter large ones or small. I did have to stop wearing over sized things. It is so slwo at BAB that I won't be buying too much soon with the slowness of making the cash but also I don't want to buy too much b/c then it gets big on me....not a bad thing. I already bought 3 new pairs of work pants...I have to buy those b/c I wear them more so than not. I wish the TV show what not to wear would give me the cash without being on the show...lol now the closet is empty so really Clinton and Stacey would not have much to throw away in the metal 1970 trash can....We had that on the side of the house growing up....Plus I would so not be able to follow the "rules" I hate when they make a person wear things they are just not comfortable wearing. So off to take two bags to the box at St. Agnes and 3 bags to my friend for her mom. Even if she does not like some of the stuff she too can donate them to the box. oh and I do have on a very heavy new fleace shirt on b/c it is still sooooo soooo very cold....burrr...

If you have time read this story......

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/18/nyregion/18grunt.html?em&ex=1164171600&en

We have been members of PF since Dec of 08....We did not really go faithfully until the end of April of '08. At first I felt really self conscious even though it is known as the "no judgement zone". It is not like other Ken and Barbie gyms and does not tolerate lug heads as they say. So this man apparently violated the policy. I gues he no longer can go to PF b/c of his grunting. I no longer have any fears of the place and am not intimidated by the equiptment like when we were first members. Might I add I so get my $15 a month memberships worth, M does not as much as I do but I so do. Funny we were solicited by a new place Latitude that is like one block away and they wanted like $79.99 a MONTH introductry. fee for their gym. Ok so they have a pool but are you kidding me.....even if I had the 80 a month to give them and another 80 for M SORRY! u can take your high falutin upscale gym and shove it up your bleeeppppp........I can still get awesome results at the $10/$15 a month place. When we renue next time we are going to down grade to the $10 a month. Aparently for $15 we get unlimited use of the massage chairs that we have not yet used. Funny M was like where are they? LOL LOL see he did not even know that was why we paid the extra $5 a month. So we will stick with PF b/c we all know I don't grunt and I can;t say M does either...at least not in public....LOL LOL LOL

more from the snow front.....boy is it awefully frigid out there...

see below for winter updates..lol
Atleast this storm was not bad at all. Really we were so lucky. I can't even say it was 4 inches here. Yippie here. lol Ryan is feeling better to go to school tom. We did not let him out in the snow though to keep it at bay. I could tell he is in cabin fever mode. I did drive to the market and took S to Bobs Store to get a 50% off snowboarding jacket. He loves snowboarding and it is not cheep but hey he pays. He also has a snowsk8. ???? I had no clue what it was until it came by UPS. He had to order it through the net. It is like a sk8 board with no wheels, groves to push the snow and it looks like surfing when he goes down a snowy hill. He gets wood planks and has a jump thing and does "tricks", he is so narly dude..lol So this snow is making him very happy and his friend who has a flat back yard too. He loves coming here to use his thing on our back yard hill. We messed up some of his location when we put up the deck but hey he still has plenty of space. I wish I had the love of the snow but I don't. I wore snow boots to the store and felt like a weirdo walking in the boots. Hey I drove the 2 miles to the store..lol It was not too bad at all b/c of only 4 inches and the plows did an awesome job. The forcast looks like we are in for single digits UGH and more white crap Thursday. AGAIN! When is April going to be here? Now you know why we got married in April...my most favorite month evah! Except for the April Fools snow storm in I think 96 or 97 I have really never saw much snow in April......April where are you???????
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Both boys used the many Dicks GC's on snow stuff this week, snow pants needed b/c they grew hugh from last winter, snow shoe things that look like tennis rakets..lol to "hike" in our woods, I said just take some tennis rackets from the garage and tie them to the boots...lol and some air soft target and pistol thing that I do not really endorse but M had them get goggles and gear for that. So it was like Christmas yesterday at Dicks spending all the GC's....thanks to all who gave the Dicks GC's....they love that store...

"you sunk my battleship" kickin it back old school

Ryan stayed home from school today due to having a fever yesterday after school. He slept from 330pm till this morn and had no time to study for three tests. He said yesterday in school it was so hard to stya awake and he was all acky. I asked why he did not go to the nurse and he said b/c it is jr high and you don't do that. Oh ok Ryan. b/c only in the lower grades does one go to the nurse? I told him in the future he is to go ot the nurse if it is that bad. So his fever yesterday after school was 101.5, after adult rapid relese Tylnl. it went down to 99.9....I still felt today that not being in school would help him get better AND it is not recomemned to go to school with a fever so I did not want to chance it. Michael and I both had to work and he said he was going to be fine in the bed in our room watching TV. I called far too many times for his liking AND M came home at noon for lunch to look in on him. I got out at 1 so I could be with him. We can tell he is doing better b/c he ate some toast and had lots of liquid and tea with honey. So we have been playing some board games and kickin it back old school. His favorite is Battleship. We have the old school version not the new electronic. Not as fun with the tech. I like the lil pegs ect. He is now playing with Michael. He just took Stephen to a friends house to stay over, first time in a longgg time that he did not have to work tonight at the hockey rrink or tom. w/ Mr. Electrician. He said he'll miss the cash but is so happy to be going to "work on his bike" at Matts. I made it clear he is not staying too late tom. b/c we all know that the white crap is comin' yet again. Michael made his trip to the Home Depot to get yet another stash of ice melt/rock salt. Funny how people say oh that $50. worth should take you through the winter...AHHHH sorry to burst your bubble but that is ONE STORM on our hill...Dawn can vouch for me...she now knows the "HILL"////; p lol It takes many lbs like a 50 lb bag to do some of it. We should buy stock in icemelt. I swear I tell M that if we were in a townhouse commnty. our condo fees would be less than what we spend in icemelt...lol I bet.....So I hope that your snow falls are lovely ones. Happy Winter to all! Tell me when the tulips bud! purple ones that is......

What is it with these wild animals...

I last posted back in the late fall that M and I were on our way to the gym and a deer ran right in front of us and sent my heart into cardio mode without any exercise. Well Monday night coming home a lil later than I would normally I ma driving and the biggest bang hit the side of my car. I was in shock and looked through my rear view mirror and was like what the heck was that? Well it looked like a small german shepard and I was like oh no a dog....Well the "dog" rolled from hittin my car then got up and ran in circles to the other side of Rt 114 and got clipped again by a car on coming. I was like ahhhhhh....So I pulled into the parking lot ironic that it was an animal hospital...so next to me was a nice guy who rolled down his window and said "are you ok" I was like yes was that a dog? He said no a wild coyote. I was like fhew. I really did not want a dog to be injured despite my no need to have a dog or like big dogs near me. Well he then said after the on coming car hit it the wild beast ran back into the woods so apparently this thing was bashed but still got up. We looked to see if there was a dent, I so tought there would be but no. He thinks I was going at a good speed to not have the animal make more than surface contact with my car. He said he saw the entire thing and was like she is not gonna know what hit her...AND I DID NOT! It was a bang that was so weird. The stupid animal just ran head on into the side of a travlin car. My oh my. I called home to let them know of my ordeal with still a really schocked look to me. I was still lookin in the rear view like did this just happen. I felt like in the twlight zone. So off the man went then off I went and I was like please God no more wild animals in my path. So there you have it.

Today was the BIG DAY! I am a looser...lol a 100 lb + looser

Today was my final Heart and Wellness Class for the program. I did step one and then step two. This has been on going since April 08 and now I am finished. I still have the once a month support group, and a weekly visit to info classes for 8 weeks for an hour and a half. It is bitter sweet. I feel like I lost my "blankie" and am going to be lost though I know I can do this without the program b/c I am determined. I have made this a healthy lifestyle change and will stick to this forever. I plan to drop more lbs and will see them for a follow up visit every six weeks. I still have a "lifeline so that makes me feel good. I got a graduation t-shirt and a pin that says I am a looser...lol then on the bottom it says 100+ lb club. I put it in my pink breast cancer bag and now can not locate it. I know I can get another one. I made a speech and talked about (holding back the tears) how much easier life is with 100lbs off the body. I won't go into it but I had 4 others who are early in the program come up to me and say they really feel modivated b/c of my positive attitude. This one gal said that when she would see me at the monthly support groups she thougth that I brightened up my group...That made me feel good. She asked to be with my group b/c she liked the way I was but she was not at that time frame so could not. I then met her at BABW and she was like oh u r from H and W and now I can see why you are such a joy...lol Her daughters still say to her lets go see that lady from ur group. She went Sunday and they were sad I was not there...; ( So I am now able to say I am a graduate of the H&W program....it was 8 long months but not really when you think about it. I am determined and I am off to the gym after this post...Yes I did do much exercise this morn but I gotta get some more in before I have to p/u Stephen from driving school and get Ry to Lax. Off I go to get those miles in on the treadmill to work up to the 20 a day that I will need for the breast cancer 3 day.....

Just made the first step..one of many....

In July I have made a commitment to walk the Susan G breast cancer 3 day walk. This is my first step of many too come. It is a 3 day 20 miles per day walk in Boston. Donations are needed to help this worthy cause. More to come........